


It's just her

by bluefeathergirl



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Anxiety, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Catra keeps a password protected journal on her computer, Coming of Age, Controlling Parent, Defense Mechanisms, Denial of Feelings, Diary/Journal, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, F/F, Feelings Realization, First Crush, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Human Catra (She-Ra), Invasion of Privacy, Jealousy, Lesbian Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Character, Lesbian Disaster Catra (She-Ra), Play Fighting, Protective Adora (She-Ra), Teen Angst, Uniform Kink, Wrestling, baby gays, catradora, girls locker room, homophobic parent, military boarding school
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26059171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluefeathergirl/pseuds/bluefeathergirl
Summary: Alrighty y'all, so first thing's first, this story stems from my desire to write about how Catra was first grappling with the changes and realization that the fondness and care she had always felt for her best friend, Adora, has now developed into some different and stronger ahemotherfeelings.In some chapters I plan to include a journal entry, in the format of a password protected document on her laptop (she's paranoid, okay? and for good reason) where she vents her conflicting feelings for Adora. I'm not completely certain whether I'll keep them as journal entries later on or if I'll switch to just her occasionally having inner dialogue as she goes along, but we'll figure it out.As far as plot, don't expect too much regarding detail as I want the freedom to make stuff up as I see fit and my primary focus is the relationship between Catra and Adora -- I always try not to overwhelm myself with details but then again I like challenges and of course end up doing it anyways -- however... my intention is to do a military/army-type boarding high school setting, starting with the girls being Juniors.I will note: have never been to boarding school nor the army or ROTC and don't have much knowledge or experience with any of those things, so whatever I include will be mainly left vague or in the background. I have been consulting with some friends who have been in the military and the sort so when I include certain terms and details I have to thank them for their input. Mainly, I needed (and I think y'all also need it too) Adora (and Catra) in an army uniform. Plus, the whole situation of the actual show with the Horde and all really opens the window seamlessly into an army boarding school setting.Anyhow, with how these girls are, and with what I like to write, I will say that I hope and plan for eventual smut. But in the meantime though, enjoy the teen angst ;)UPDATE: Yes, I have a bit of OCD and my apologies, but I've edited and added a few details in this chapter (and tags) as I wanted to give more depth to my interpretation of Catra's character - specifically in the paragraph when Adora surprises her from her typing trance. So, please go back and read that, as it is important. Thanks for having patience with me <3 I appreciate it more than words can say (and I say a lot -- I know).
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 38





	1. It's just me

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty y'all, so first thing's first, this story stems from my desire to write about how Catra was first grappling with the changes and realization that the fondness and care she had always felt for her best friend, Adora, has now developed into some different and stronger ahem _other_ feelings. 
> 
> In some chapters I plan to include a journal entry, in the format of a password protected document on her laptop (she's paranoid, okay? and for good reason) where she vents her conflicting feelings for Adora. I'm not completely certain whether I'll keep them as journal entries later on or if I'll switch to just her occasionally having inner dialogue as she goes along, but we'll figure it out.
> 
> As far as plot, don't expect too much regarding detail as I want the freedom to make stuff up as I see fit and my primary focus is the relationship between Catra and Adora -- I always try not to overwhelm myself with details but then again I like challenges and of course end up doing it anyways -- however... my intention is to do a military/army-type boarding high school setting, starting with the girls being Juniors.  
> I will note: have never been to boarding school nor the army or ROTC and don't have much knowledge or experience with any of those things, so whatever I include will be mainly left vague or in the background. I have been consulting with some friends who have been in the military and the sort so when I include certain terms and details I have to thank them for their input. Mainly, I needed (and I think y'all also need it too) Adora (and Catra) in an army uniform. Plus, the whole situation of the actual show with the Horde and all really opens the window seamlessly into an army boarding school setting. 
> 
> Anyhow, with how these girls are, and with what I like to write, I will say that I hope and plan for eventual smut. But in the meantime though, enjoy the teen angst ;)
> 
> UPDATE: Yes, I have a bit of OCD and my apologies, but I've edited and added a few details in this chapter (and tags) as I wanted to give more depth to my interpretation of Catra's character - specifically in the paragraph when Adora surprises her from her typing trance. So, please go back and read that, as it is important. Thanks for having patience with me <3 I appreciate it more than words can say (and I say a lot -- I know).

**Thursday. A week before the big match.**

_Okay. So, I signed up for the All-Cadet Wrestling Competition here at Horde High. Now, why the hell did I do that? Oh… right. Well, there was a reason. A very stupid reason. One that I’ll probably end up kicking myself for later. But it’ll be worth it, right? Even if just for the moment’s bliss. Ugh… what am I thinking! She’s gonna notice >< She’s gonna fucking notice that I’m blushing and… if that happens, I’ll probably end up making some excuse and have to lash out. Sigh… What am I gonna do? >< Mmm … I’ll just have to kick her stupid ass._

_Honestly, what’s the freaking matter with me? We grew up together, for crying out loud! She’s like family to me. The only family I’ve ever had… She’s my best friend in the whole world. I know she’ll always have my back. We’ve always been in each other’s lives. And… she knows more about me than anyone else. Knows me better than anyone else alive. We call each other out on our bullshit no sweat and we’re not afraid of hurting each other’s feelings. Cause at the end of the day, we both know we care for each other. We promised to be there for each other no matter what. Even though this boarding school is full of cadets and soldiers, we’re really all each other has. And I can’t think of anyone I’d rather spend my time with. So, why am I suddenly so uncomfortable around her?_

_I’m so lucky to have been given the top bunk. The one above hers. Even though I pretty much toss and turn all night lately… Well, I mean, I do love heights and all. So, that’s definitely not it. I actually prefer to sneak down at night and cuddle at the foot of her bed. Then I can seriously sleep like a baby. Well, although not so much lately._

_Ughh! Whatever. This is all so confusing. Things have always been great between us. So why would anything change now? Fuck it. It’s fine. Everything’s fine. I just have to keep it together. Just… don’t think about Ado—_

  


“Hey, Catra.” Adora greeted her friend in a deeper tone than usual, teasing, but it was more than that. It sounded… sultry? Catra practically jumped out of her seat. She had developed a keen sense of hearing, making her more alert to her surroundings, which is why no one was usually able to sneak up on her. Years of paranoid watchfulness at fearing a controlling mother looming over your shoulder; ensuring your behavior was kept in line to her values and the ideal she wanted you to become will do that to you.

Some time ago, her mother had found and read something she never should have. Something very private and close to her heart. Very convoluted. Catra felt violated by that action. However, her mother felt it was in her God given right and duty as her parent to know exactly what was going on with her child. Privacy was a foreign concept to her, not even worth arguing against. Ever since then, Catra had not written down a single word on paper of anything even remotely personal. She learned super quickly how to password protect documents on a computer and vent there if she absolutely could not stand it, but it was rare. She started holding things inside and hiding as much as she could. But her mind was so blurred in thoughts right now and focused on typing furiously that Adora managed to trespass that barrier.

“Wh—I… um…” she stammered but didn’t want to appear weak. Quickly going back to finding her composure again she snapped. “How long have you been standing there?”

“Just long enough to see you nervous sweating and…” Catra tried not to stare “Oh my. Are you blushing?”

“What?! No! Adora, ugh. Don’t be ridiculous! Why would I blush?”

“Ohhh… I get it. You were writing love letters to a secret admirer. Uhuh. Nice move.”

“Shut your stupid face, Adora. That’s ridiculous. You know I don’t do feelings.”

“Awhh I feel special! So, I’m the only one you’ve ever had any feelings for?” She just stood there, hand over her stupid heart, looking irritating as ever. Looks like she really wanted to get under her skin.

“Adora, I swear I—”

Grabbing her in a surprising headlock, Adora rubbed her head with her fist. “Careful, Catra. I might just start thinking you like me.”

“Adora!” She struggled against her, albeit slightly reluctantly, but she was so embarrassed. “Adora, get off me!” Pushing her away wasn’t what she wanted but having her in such close proximity made the blushing worse and she desperately wanted not to be obvious.

“Uhuh. If that’s what you want,” she winked, but her expression drooped slight enough that probably no one else would have picked up if they didn’t know her as well, but Catra sure noticed. Fuck, why did she have to do that? Why did she have to barge in and, and catch her off guard like that and just, and… Why did she have to look so damn good in that uniform? And… when did she start saying the word ‘fuck’?? That felt good.

“Fuck…” she whispered, almost as if to herself only, but Adora heard it.

“Ohh, potty mouth.”

“Bite me.”

“I’ll consider it.” Catra gulped hard at the thought. No, this was fine. They were just really good friends. A friend that she was super fond of. A friend that now was… just… whoa, she suddenly had to sit down. “So… you getting ready for me to beat you up next week?”

Very grateful for the change of topic, Catra exhaled, but once she realized THE topic chosen her pupils blew wide and then narrowed. “Psh. You wish! I’m gonna kick your little princess ass.” Her perfectly shaped… very um… appealing ass. Oh, fuck.

“Mmm. We’ll see.” Biting her lip, Adora stood up and placed a hand on Catra’s shoulder. “See you in bed later? I mean, uh, you know, the Squad Bay.” Why was _she_ nervous? They always slept on the same bunk. Catra was top bunk, but when the officers left the cadets alone for the evening and ordered lights off, Catra frequently came down to sleep at the foot of Adora’s bed. It was simply a habit they’d acquired since they were kids. It never really got old. But lately… Catra hadn’t been sleeping there as often. The closeness to Adora making her more nervous. But then again… being near her provided a sense of comfort nothing or no one else could. It was definitely a situation. To say the least.

“What? Oh. Yeah, um. Soon.”

“Alright. And hey… relax, alright? It’s just me.” She tried to come off as sweet and understanding as possible, but. Yeah. It was just _her_. Which is exactly why Catra was having such a hard time dealing. Why did her best friend have to look so damn good?


	2. I don’t need you to protect me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> some teen angst in the girls' locker room

Just when P.T. was over, Adora stayed back to speak to her coach about the upcoming wrestling meet. Something about lifting weights and muscle mass. She had always been the teacher’s pet and she was super into body fitness. Go figure. Another thing to drive her friend crazy. If only she knew. Catra stepped into the girls’ locker room to get a quick shower and change back into her uniform along with the rest of her classmates who stormed in, all sweaty and gross. And full of teenage hormones. That’s right, sure. Just put a whole bunch of girls in one room. What could happen? This is fine. Catra could totally keep it together. She was a badass after all. Well-known for her reputation as a take-no-shit-from-no-one chick.

Preparing to go into the showers, she began to remove her shirt along with most of the girls, until her ears picked up a conversation in the corner to her right. Oh jeez. These girls were so gossipy. What the hell are they going on about now? She was ready to just roll her eyes until she heard Adora’s name. She wasn’t eavesdropping. It just happened. They weren’t even doing a very good job at keeping it a secret either. Bitches.

“… Anyways… all I’m saying is she be lookin’ _damn_ good this year and if she gets that close to me again, I dunno. I might not hold back.” Oh HELL no. What the fuck, Lonnie?

Catra didn’t know what compelled her to do what came next, but it was as if some rageful energy possessed her and she couldn’t control it. Didn’t want to. Taking Lonnie completely by surprise, Catra pushed her to the lockers behind her and had her pinned in a second. However, Lonnie was a much bigger girl than she. In size and in strength. She was practically built like an ox. So, she instinctively pushed Catra away from her personal space without much effort. She trained at kickboxing on the side, so she was always ready and on the defensive.

“What the hell, Catra?” She barked, arms spreading wide in a puzzled state. “What is up with you?”

“Don’t play coy with me, little Lonnie. I heard what you were saying.” The nickname ticked her off so bad it made her want to twist some words down her throat.

“What? About Adora?” She crossed her arms across her chest and jabbed at the middle of Catra’s chest tauntingly. “Ohhh, I mean… last night when she was tutoring me, we just… I don’t know, we connected. I won’t hide the fact that I think she’s a hottie. I might just take my chances with her and ask her out.”

“What makes you think she’s even interested in you… like _that_?”

“Oh, Catra. Didn’t you know?” She hated this tone with a passion. “Adora and I have been friends for a while. Not as long as she has with you, of course. Granted. But I mean, she trusts me. And just between you and me…” she reached over to whisper in Catra’s ear, “apparently she has a thing for buff women.”

Whatever sanity she had left snapped and she grabbed a fistful of Lonnie’s shirt and pushed her against the lockers again, this time slamming her back into them with a wham. The darker girl did not like that at all, and so retaliated into what turned into a punching and dodging scene. Some girls started flocking to them to watch the fight, in typical high school drama fashion. It wasn’t helping to cease the fuel of the fire at all. But luckily, although Lonnie had brute strength, Catra made up for it in speed and cunning.

It wasn’t like she didn’t think the same about Adora, honestly. Adora was the hottest girl in school, point blank. It was helplessly undeniable and painfully obvious. Catra just hadn’t told anyone. Let alone admit it to herself, yet. It was a process. But between her inner conflicts and now hearing a classmate speak about her best friend like that… especially that she may not be her type… was just too much to bear.

She sank a bit out of the fight and into her tortured thoughts for just a split second too long though, giving Lonnie the window of opportunity to push Catra hard, leaving her stumbling backwards and almost falling over a bench if it wasn’t for Adora stepping in and bracing her shoulders to sustain her balance, as if her guardian angel had never left her side.

It took the larger girl a moment to shake herself off the tunnel vision of the confrontation and back into breathing without panting heavily. She almost hadn’t noticed Adora coming into the fray. While she gently steered Catra to step away from there, Catra hissed in offense as the touch was far too kind for the frenzied state she was in. It was fury mixed with pain and… jealousy? No… she… She just didn’t want someone, let alone someone she wasn’t a fan of, to talk about her girl like that. Well, not _her_ girl… just, her best friend. Her sort of stepsister. What the fuck. And most of all, she didn’t want to hear that someone would get closer to her than she had. Not because she wasn’t allowed, but because they hadn’t been able to spend that much time together lately.

Shoving Adora off of her, she stormed out of the locker room until she realized she was still only in her sports bra and shorts. Cursing to herself, she halted and turned back inside.

“Lonnie, I think you should go.” Adora said in a firm composed voice, yet almost disappointed. It must’ve been quite a letdown seeing her other friend fighting her… Catra.

Looking down regretfully, she said “I’m sorry, Adora. I hope I can still see you again tomorrow night. I still need help with that class…”

Cutting her off sharply, Adora retorted. “We’ll talk about it later, Lonnie.” Of course, they were just talking about tutoring, and of course Lonnie never mentioned that she was a shy mess around Adora and would never have the guts to say anything to her face, not really. All Adora could talk about when they were together was Catra. But it’s not like she would have known. All Catra could hear in her head were the echoing words “…if she gets that close to me again, I dunno. I might not hold back.”

Gritting her teeth, she braced herself to find her locker and collect her things. Mainly her shirt. Fuck the shower. She and Lonnie bumped shoulders, going in opposite directions. Lonnie scoffed but didn’t say a word. Catra sneered at her but didn’t get a chance for a retort as the girl ran out the door. She took a deep breath and saw Adora sitting on the bench where she’d almost injured herself, waiting for her.

“Why’d you do that, Adora? I didn’t need you to protect me! I can defend myself!” She wished she hadn’t sounded so harsh, but she just couldn’t help it—she was too upset. It’s not that she wasn’t grateful for Adora saving her face. Frankly, she kind of felt like getting hit right now. To match how she felt inside.

“Catra! You were in a fight. I came into the locker room and I saw—” she broke off into her thoughts. “I didn’t want you to get hurt. I couldn’t stand it!” It looked like she was about to cry. She was bracing herself quite literally, trying to calm down.

“Well, I would have been just fine, thanks.” Very nice, tactless friend. Great job. “I can take pretty good care of myself. I don’t need you to treat me like I’m incapable or inferior. I’m enough.” What she _really_ meant was ‘I hope I’m enough for you’ but that’s just not how things spat out from Catra’s temperamental mouth, especially these days.

“I… I know that, Catra. You are so much more than enough.” She paused and that’s when she realized Catra wasn’t wearing a shirt. Adora hadn’t seen her without being fully clothed since… Well, probably before puberty hit to be honest. Oh shit, she hoped Catra didn’t catch her staring at her chest. Turning to her side to hide her blush, Adora put her face in her hands to try and cool herself down. “Why on earth were you even picking a fight anyway? And with Lonnie? You know she’s bigger than you.”

“No shit, princess. Besides, who told you I picked the fight? Maybe she triggered it.”

_I just didn’t like how she talked about you._

Adora sighed. “Fine. Look, if you don’t want to share something with me, I’m not gonna pry. Just… promise me you’ll be careful next time? Watch who you mess with.”

“I can’t promise you that, Adora. There are some things you just don’t understand.” Really, Catra didn’t understand them either but she was trying. “But… I’ll try.”

“Okay.” She said, resigned.

Catra stood there awkwardly, suddenly wide eyed at the realization that she still hadn’t put her shirt back on. Oh, fuck. Scrambling to gather her things, she noticed Adora had been holding her shirt the whole time, cradling it in her arms for comfort.

“Well, hand it over, pervert.” Smooth, Catra. Real smooth. She internally facepalmed and squeezed her eyes shut with regret. She tried to sound playful though. Hopefully it came across that way. Extending out her hand, it had pretty much slipped Adora’s mind what she was referring to.

“Huh?” She’s staring at your tits again. What the fuck, Adora?

“Uh. My shirt? Can I have it back?”

Looking down at her arms she recognized her mistake. “Ohh. Oh, shit, fuck. I’m sorry. Here.” Adora never cursed unless she was really pushed to the edge, but she seemed relaxed now. Dazed even. What the fuck did she have to be weird about?

“Thanks.” Catra smiled back softly. “For stepping in, I guess. And… for the shirt.” She winked.

“Don’t mention it.” As Adora got up from the bench, she grabbed Catra in for a hug, taking her breath away. They exchanged no words. Only a deep unified sigh of relief.

“Go take your shower.” She shoved her off, back to her usual charming self.

“Nah, I’m gonna skip it.”

Adora gave her a side glance with a raised eyebrow. “Ugh… fiiiine. But don’t you watch.” She secretly wanted her to watch.

Over the years growing up together, Adora had made herself be strong and stronger, in part to protect Catra, to be there for Catra. Defending her from getting hurt or trying to. They both had different circumstances, but Adora always wanted to do her best, it was something ingrained in her. She got over her fear of heights because she wanted to go after Catra whenever she’d climb up to tall places. She’d do anything to stand up for her but was glad that she could hold her own if needed and protect her right back.


End file.
